deviant ART

*DelCarmen:iconDelCarmen:

Marlen  

  • Status: deviantART Subscriber
  • Yellow Alien
  • Female/Unknown
  • Invisible
  • Deviant since Aug 7, 2006, 10:15 AM
  • Subscribed until Dec 20, 2008, 7:21 AM
  • 70 Deviations
  • 3 Scraps [browse]
  • 144 Deviation Comments
  • 303 Deviant Comments
  • 2,585 Pageviews

Against Time

Journal Entry: Sat May 10, 2008, 7:01 PM
  • Mood: Nervous
  • Listening to: Yael Naim
  • Reading: Dreamhunter
  • Watching: Jetstream {ha!!}
  • Eating: My sister's brains.
  • Drinking: blooood...
NOTE: Just have to say, I thank all of you who have faved/'watched' me for my art. You don't know how much this makes me happy. XD THANK-YOU!!

--AND... Just got 'Reign of Starscream'.... I LOVE IT!!! :heart:

Huge changes are happening, which seem to be having me around in circles, in dark places (emooo! >D ), in stress filled environments. I’m warning you now… this is sort of a rant, so don’t even bother to read this if you hate complaining, heh-heh, I don’t mean to, but I feel like I need to express it someway. ;__;

I’m actually scared about moving to another country. New language, new culture, different education system- far from friends, worrying about school and where I’ll be going and how I’m going to be able to manage it. I suppose I shouldn’t really fret about it, but I am afraid. It’s been a few stressful months- and that’s why I haven’t really sent anything, or why I haven’t made any pretty pictures. Just a whole bunch of icky feelings that suck my energy away. What seems to suck even more is the fact that- it’s probably, very likely that I won’t be able to continue my wrestling dreams in this country.

Spiritually its havoc. I want to get baptized, but I personally want to make it special (in the inside at least). I want to be able to make a better commitment, a better connection to the dude up there in the sky. Seems like we don’t communicate anymore, what was there is seemingly lost and it feels so lonely inside myself. I guess its shame, I just can’t seem to accept the fact of the whole forgiveness thing- or at least, I have a hard time with it. I feel like I should be reprimanded because I keep on making the same mistake- no matter what I always seem to fall again for the same reason, right when I’ve been doing fine with it too. Just drowning further and further into my own muck bed. Yuck- does it every ‘stink’. I hope he’s still hanging around though…

Just seems like throughout the time of my whole existence- I’m always short a few steps to success. Never satisfied, never complete- I hate being depressed about it, but it seems so heavily ‘stitched’ inside. What else seems to be wrong are my irrational fears. I don’t know why- sometimes it’ll be during the night, or in the morning, but I suddenly become sick because of the things I fear. Irrational fears that I know I know- but it’s like I have no control over them. Just seems like the nightmares are getting worst (probably from stress, bleh! >.<’ ), and it’s the irrational fear of being stuck in them. Isn’t that silly? It happened to me several times… and those were the most fearful times of my life. I try to fight, but it’s overpowering. What is it? Am I just going crazy? It’s the most insane feeling ever… just white, pitch white fear breaking through every barrier from my being. The maddening sensation crawling over.

Before I freak any of you out too much, I think I’ll just stop there. That’s enough ranting, the usual blabbering nonsense. Have to think POSITIVE THOUGHTS mer, POSITIVE. >>’ I think I’ll sing to Bob Marley’s ‘Everything’s going to be alright’ right now. [I forget the actual title to that song, heh :P ]

~Sincerely yours, Del Carmen. :XD:

Devious Information

  • Current Age: 17
  • Current Residence: Somewhere up in Canada. Eh?
  • Interests: Writing, Art stuff and many, many more.
  • Favourite movie: A lot, I could go on forever!
  • Favourite band or musician: Tool, Nine Inch Nails, Dream Theater, Evanescence, Yo Yo Ma, Paco De Lucia, Soundtracks xD, etc...
  • Favourite genre of music: Alternative Rock, Classical, World, Electronic, etc...
  • Favourite style or digital art: Photomanipulation
  • Operating System: Adobe Photoshop 0.7, and Jasc Paint 0.8
  • MP3 player of choice: I-pod Nano
  • Shell of choice: ... from the beach?

Devious Comments

~Seomi-Sasuko:iconSeomi-Sasuko: 6 hours 32 minutes ago
yeah ^^
^^ :giggle:

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I :love: NARUTO UZIMAKI AND SHIKAMARU NARA!!!!!!!!!!!^^ :giggle:
*DelCarmen:iconDelCarmen: 6 hours 42 minutes ago
no... >>

--
"Coming back we fly away
Ja ja come and so I live to see another day
All I think about if I were just to run away
Will I come back to love you now?"

~ K-OS
~Seomi-Sasuko:iconSeomi-Sasuko: 1 day 8 hours ago
okay then.....well.....you like snakey too^^ XD lol

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I :love: NARUTO UZIMAKI AND SHIKAMARU NARA!!!!!!!!!!!^^ :giggle:
*DelCarmen:iconDelCarmen: 2 days 4 hours ago
I like sushi. x) :heart:

--
"Coming back we fly away
Ja ja come and so I live to see another day
All I think about if I were just to run away
Will I come back to love you now?"

~ K-OS
~Seomi-Sasuko:iconSeomi-Sasuko: 2 days 7 hours ago
so you dont like shushi?

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I :love: NARUTO UZIMAKI AND SHIKAMARU NARA!!!!!!!!!!!^^ :giggle:
Hidden By Owner
*DelCarmen:iconDelCarmen: 2 days 8 hours agoComment hidden by Owner
This comment is hidden and not visible to general public.
*poy75:iconpoy75: 2 days 9 hours ago
Thank you very much for the :+fav: I really appreciate it. :)
*DelCarmen:iconDelCarmen: 3 days 4 hours ago
:matrixfight:
:blahblah:

Haha. >D Ummm, no.

--
"Coming back we fly away
Ja ja come and so I live to see another day
All I think about if I were just to run away
Will I come back to love you now?"

~ K-OS
~Seomi-Sasuko:iconSeomi-Sasuko: 3 days 14 hours ago
NO YOU DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!oROMCHIMARU AND KISAME!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I :love: NARUTO UZIMAKI AND SHIKAMARU NARA!!!!!!!!!!!^^ :giggle:
*DelCarmen:iconDelCarmen: 4 days 2 hours ago
You do, snake woman. o.0'

--
"Coming back we fly away
Ja ja come and so I live to see another day
All I think about if I were just to run away
Will I come back to love you now?"

~ K-OS
~Seomi-Sasuko:iconSeomi-Sasuko: Apr 27, 2008, 9:59:52 AM Mood: Zest
...You :love: Orochimaru!!!! HA

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I :love: NARUTO UZIMAKI AND SHIKAMARU NARA!!!!!!!!!!!^^ :giggle:
*DelCarmen:iconDelCarmen: Apr 1, 2008, 7:14:10 PM
ah- no problem. x) I really liked what you did. ^^

--
"Coming back we fly away
Ja ja come and so I live to see another day
All I think about if I were just to run away
Will I come back to love you now?"

~ K-OS
~S-F-stock:iconS-F-stock: Mar 14, 2008, 3:03:02 PM
it's real pleasure! :hug:
if our work could be some help :aww: :hug:
S&f
~Betrayedx:iconBetrayedx: Mar 13, 2008, 4:31:22 PM Mood: Love
Thanks you so much for the :+fav: it means a lot! :hug:

--
I wanted to many things, so I couldn't decide my own Fate.
*DelCarmen:iconDelCarmen: Mar 10, 2008, 1:31:43 PM
your welcome. x)

--
"Coming back we fly away
Ja ja come and so I live to see another day
All I think about if I were just to run away
Will I come back to love you now?"

~ K-OS
*DelCarmen:iconDelCarmen: Mar 10, 2008, 1:31:23 PM
your welcome. x) I'll definately find something I can use. xD And thank-you so much for your work. ^^

--
"Coming back we fly away
Ja ja come and so I live to see another day
All I think about if I were just to run away
Will I come back to love you now?"

~ K-OS
~S-F-stock:iconS-F-stock: Mar 9, 2008, 4:28:25 AM
thank you so much for your support and :+devwatch: on our stock :hug:
hope you'll find something inspiring :)
~Sarane & =fenifire
*devils-horizon:icondevils-horizon: Feb 1, 2008, 5:26:37 PM
» thank you ever so much . xx

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.•´ .•´¤ ¸•*
(¸.•* (¸.•*´¨`•. i just don't belong here...
~Meer-chan:iconMeer-chan: Jan 30, 2008, 2:53:58 PM
Ahaha that was a major face catastrophe! Don't worry about it, mah love. <3
*DelCarmen:iconDelCarmen: Jan 30, 2008, 2:50:56 PM
your welcome. x)

--
"Coming back we fly away
Ja ja come and so I live to see another day
All I think about if I were just to run away
Will I come back to love you now?"

~ K-OS
*DelCarmen:iconDelCarmen: Jan 30, 2008, 2:50:43 PM
no problem. xP

--
"Coming back we fly away
Ja ja come and so I live to see another day
All I think about if I were just to run away
Will I come back to love you now?"

~ K-OS
*DelCarmen:iconDelCarmen: Jan 30, 2008, 2:50:26 PM
meh- don't mind that angry face, it was suppose to be one of these :XD:

xP

--
"Coming back we fly away
Ja ja come and so I live to see another day
All I think about if I were just to run away
Will I come back to love you now?"

~ K-OS
*DelCarmen:iconDelCarmen: Jan 30, 2008, 2:49:54 PM
lol, I just realized you were on here! Definately needed to add you. xP -ish glomped- <3 :XP:

--
"Coming back we fly away
Ja ja come and so I live to see another day
All I think about if I were just to run away
Will I come back to love you now?"

~ K-OS
=arrsistable:iconarrsistable: Jan 25, 2008, 7:22:53 AM
Thanks so much for supporting my artwork! :hug: :heart:

--
My Stock Account
~xxbloodyknuckles:iconxxbloodyknuckles: Jan 24, 2008, 8:37:29 PM
thanks for the fave ^^

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[link] <<stock account
[link] <<art account
[link] <<Freerice.com. Play, and feed the hungry.

Skittles. Taste fragmented light.